To The Birthday Girl

HAPPY TENTH BIRTHDAY, DAPHNE!

As I was typing that in all caps, I was instantly transported to a time when you used to speak in ALL CAPS. Even your "whisper" was loud.  Everything you did was without a filter and at full volume.  And here you are.  Ten years old...

You were so brave this year.  You tried out for the competitive rock climbing team, and I will admit we (your mom and dad) were wholly unprepared for just how competitive this would be.  You were on the younger end of the spectrum of ages that could be on the team, there is only 1 team covering 2 gyms, and there were less than 5 spaces open.  You showed up to day 1 of try outs and were surrounded by so many talented kids.  Many of whom had many years (and inches - which matters in rock climbing) on you, and yet you set your jaw and did your best.  Same thing on day 2.  I sat back and watched and was amazed at the methodical way you approached your climbs (whilst trying not to throw up with you so many stories above the ground).  You were so impressive.  Which made it all the more heartbreaking when you just barely did not make the cut.  

To be clear, heartbreaking for me because I knew how much you wanted it and so wanted it for you so much.  But for you?  Sure you were disappointed, and giving you the news was the absolute worst, but you did not cry - I watched you absorb it, sit with it, and then continue on - with the same love and enthusiasm for rock climbing you always had, still ready to try out next time, and without letting it ruin your day.  

You then went for student council.  A brave thing to do for anyone, and an exceptional thing to do if you are someone in a self-contained program with the same ~15 kids you have known since Kinder, when the vote is across ALL of 4th grade, most of whom, you barely cross paths with.  You made posters, you campaigned.  And you lost (no one in your program won a spot).  

And once again, it absolutely sucked to learn the outcome of the votes.  Though, again, to be clear, it absolutely sucked for me, because I knew how much you wanted it and especially on the heels of rock climbing I so wanted it for you.  But for you?  Sure you were disappointed.  You found out the results over the intercom at school and reported back your disappointment when you got home... before moving on.

Where did you get that resilience?  Might I borrow a cup?

The point of those two stories is not to highlight two events that ended in something other than success, because after watching you go through both, I know that both things were an absolute successes.  You are so brave. You are so grounded. You are so secure with yourself. You are so... resilient.  You are so much more than I could ever imagine being. 

You remain a dedicated picky eater and avid reader. Of all three kids in this house, you are the most capable of disappearing into a world of your own for hours.  You love to sleep and yet have activities almost every day of the week that cuts into your (and everyone's) down time. You are still Hazel's absolute favorite person and it remains absolutely pitiful to listen to her meow outside your door when it is shut. You are a member of Art Club and Read, Deed, Run and made the cut for spelling bee this year (though how I do not know - you certainly did not get that from me!) You are a dedicated friend and also capable of standing up to bullies. You wear your hair in the same way almost every day, and yet have your own fashion sense that may at times be perplexing, but is always enviable. 

In short, my sweet girl, while you have matured into someone that has an inside voice, I am so grateful that you continue to live with the volume (metaphorically) turned all the way up.

Love you, always.  

Girl Time - Double digits

 A true birthday post to come but in the meantime… 

And Then He Was Five

Happy Birthday to Cal!

Believe it or not, unlike every other birthday, this one did not feel like it snuck up on me too quickly.  I mean, yes, I blinked and you turned FIVE, but at the same time, you have been asking for over three months "How many more days until my birthday?" and, well, even a mama truly heartsick that her baby will soon need two hands to show his age gets to a point where its kind of like please God let it be his birthday soon!  God bless Mamaw who created a birthday countdown calendar back in May that allowed you to cross off days and see how many were left until the big day.  Every morning, like the big little man that you are, you would pop out of bed, take care of business, let the cats out of the gameroom and come downstairs to mark off one more day until you turned 5.

Speaking of letting the cats out of the gameroom... we have learned that some mornings you like to let the cats out of the gameroom, only to herd sweet, scared-of-her-own-shadow Hazel into your closet where you will tell her to wait, shut the door and then leave her locked up while you have breakfast so she is ready to play later.  Poor, sweet Hazel.  

Tonight we went to the track - Dad had night class, and it seemed like a good day to run around the track and toss the football before taking a dip in the pool (OH HOW I LOVE SUMMER EVENINGS!)  You insisted on wearing your flip flops, which seemed like a bad idea from the get, but you assured me you were going to just hang out and kind of play at the field, and did not plan on actually running around the track.  Cut to two minutes after we arrive when you decide that you and I should run a lap together.  Thereafter, you and Daph proceeded to run another 3 laps while I threw passes to Cooper.  I was impressed with your little legs, but even more impressed with your feet!  I mean, a mile in flip flops is a LOT!  I commended your effort as we walked back to the car, and you started telling me that you were practicing because if "George goes to [your] five year old school, [you] want to be able to beat [him], because [he] beat you at four year old school all the time, but [you] beat [him] some of the time" and "[you] were ready to blow past [him] with your superspeed".  Then, while we were driving home you kept saying "Georgie Porgie is going to lose".  What can I say, kid?  You come by the smack talking honestly.

You are such a big boy, despite being my baby.  And I felt the full extent of both of those extremes when we went to the ER earlier this summer. Yes, 12+ years into being a parent, we had to rush to the ER for stitches in June because I was oh so very stupid and chased you playfully up the stairs at bedtime causing you to trip and split your eyelid open.  It was truly the most awful split second that felt like it happened in slow motion in my life.  You immediately put a hand to your eye and began crying as I scooped you up and raced to the kitchen to get a towel to stop the bleeding.  We didn't even stop to put your shoes on as I raced to buckle you into the car, where you had already stopped crying and were applying pressure to the wound to stop the bleeding.  I couldn't stop telling you how brave you were. Little did I know, this was just the first of many moments that night that I would be in awe of your toughness.  We went straight to Texas Childrens and joined the throngs of people in the waiting room where we were quickly triaged and then slooooowly seen.  At around 1:30 in the morning we were finally in a real room and I was given the options for how we could go about getting you stitched up (option 1 - least invasive - a quick squirt of meds to make you a little loopy up your nose, some topical lidocaine to start the numbing with some injections of lidocaine to follow, as needed, with you awake and coherent as they pull a needle and thread through your eyelid VS option 2 - most invasive - ketamine (yes, the horse tranquillizer, though I was assured not a horse dosage) administered via IV and you would be knocked out for the stitching).  We went for option 1 and I was prepared to take that on and do what was needed to soothe you only for you to be completely chill the whole time.  You calmly talked to the doctor about Pokemon and laid so still you received high praise from all the medical professionals.  

You are super creative and funny.  While I am quite fond of your name, you tend to adopt a new name and pronounce it to the family about once a week.  You have been Cal Numbers, Calm, Super Cal...  You create your own Pokemon, and draw pictures of them and teach us each of their unique moves.  You believe that puppydog eyes can get you nearly anything you want (which, I mean, as the baby of this family is probably about right), and you absolutely HATE getting into trouble.  Truly, on the rare occasion you are reprimanded, I usually end up feeling like I ought to apologize to you, because you are so devastated by any sort of negative feedback, it is a bit pitiful.  You are a pretty picky eater, but love fish sticks and chic fila sauce.  You are an excellent sleeper, except for being an early riser.  You give amazing hugs, wrapping your entire being around the recipient.  I love the way you talk with your hands - it is a true reminder that you have Italian in your blood.

I absolutely love you to pieces - we all do.  Can't imagine our lives without you.

We saw a rainbow tonight, and it brought you such joy.  I hope this year is filled with infinitely more joy - you deserve every single moment.  

Summer To Do List 2021

Oh man!  Nothing like an impending 5th Birthday to make me realize just how behind I am.  Before I get into the planned (and now partially completed) antics for our summer, I will first provide some color commentary on the end of the school year.  

End of the 2020-2021 school year marked the end of a weird (hopefully) blip in our children's lives.  It was the year Cal went to "school" full time, after his nanny abruptly resigned due to COVID fears.  It was the year our kids started in virtual classrooms, before transitioning to in-person learning.  It was the year Cooper started middle school - a transition I sweated way more than he did.  It was the first year Cooper and Daphne were at different campuses.

And they ended the year like I have come to almost expect but never stop being in awe of - like total rockstars.  Cooper and Daphne earned many awards, and both kept their stellar report card records in tact.  Cal made so many new friends and was invited to his first playdates.  He can read like a... older than 4 year old for sure, and continues to just brighten up every room he enters.  They are amazing  They had fantastic years in school and we could not be more proud.

And, as we do in this house, we celebrated the end of an amazing school year by planning a (hopefully) equally amazing summer.  Without further ado, this year's list:

 And in case you cannot read our wall art, I will recap here:

1) Make chalk

2) Family football game

3) Make pinatas

4) Draw Mario (from Super Mario Bros)

5) Family basketball game

6) Make sno cones

7) Pool volleyball game

8) Make Tie Dye Towels

9) Make clay dinosaurs

10) ART DAY!

11) Bikes and baseball

12) Fishing in the ocean

13) Car wash

14) Send cookies 3 times

15) Water war

16) Squirt bottle pancakes

17) Make smoothies

18) Kids Cafe

19) Friend hangouts (10x)

20) Watch 3 new movies

21) Bake 3 new desserts

22) Device day

23) Go to Mod pizza

24) Pokefest

25) Epic Birthday cake

26) Run 50 miles

27) Picnic at the park

28) Celebrate Grandpa's (Cox) Birtday

29) Drink 500 ounces of water

30) Play 50 card games

I am so thankful that they have not outgrown this tradition (and hope they never do).  The first day of their summer is a holiday that is almost as sacred to me as Christmas - it is a day I look forward to all year long.  

Happy BIrthday to Coop

Well... 12 years is just TOO many, thus my denial caused me to be a bit tardy with my birthday letter.  Oh, Cooper.  I hope it was a happy birthday oh so many days... weeks... months? (!) ago.  At twelve years old, especially in the Time of Covid, birthday celebrations are less about a party with many friends from your classroom, and more about a small gathering where we indulge your (reasonable) wishes.  The weather was too overcast for the planned first swim in the pool, but we had family in and catered your favorite foods and got to marvel in all 12 years of your life. 

After this, it will be officially teenage years, which I have been warned can be so rough.  And I think I have seen glimpses of the potential upcomgin challenges - some eyerolls, some talking back, some attitude, some pushing against boundaries and being oh so put out when your parents are too lame and go about reigning you back in.  But honestly, these are brief flashes and I would be concerned if you didn't have moments of being a bit annoyed with us.  Far more common my interactions with you are nothing short of delightful.  

You are brilliant and throughtful, creative and curious. 

You used to never stop talking, and while I still sometimes find you in a chatty mood, I am more often trying to coax details of your day out of you.  You are growing up and developing some space of your own.  It is as though we are both circles, and you used to be a circle that fell within the boundaries of my circle, but now we are turning from a smaller circle inside a bigger circle into a venn diagram of sorts... still one where your circle mostly overlaps with mine, but there are little parts of you that you keep only to yourself and they don't fall in my circle any more.  And while I might have thought this would eviscerate me, it mostly doesn't.  Sure it makes me need to catch my breath a bit, but isn't that what living as a parent is - constantly needed to stop and catch your breath?  That probably doesn't make sense to anyone but me, but sometimes you understand me best.

This year has been your first year in middle school, we enrolled you in all advanced classes, the year started out online before you transitioned to in-person, which means that this year has been enough to bring most people to their knees.  And you?  Well, you continue your streak of all As, you have made new friends, you are eager to try out for sports next year and are just generally crushing it. Just last night I looked over a presentation you were finishing up for Social Studies - one we had offered zero assistance on - and it looked better than the work product of many grown professionals.  The pride you take in your work makes me so incredibly proud.

You are an avid Simpsons fan - have been watching an episode or two a night for the better part of the year, making your way through the 20+ seasons. Your chores consist of cleaning up the table after meals and taking out the trash and recycling.  You like your hair longer on top, but are amenable to us keeping it trimmed on the back and sides (this used to be a battle).  You pretty much only wear t-shirts and basketball shorts or track pants.  You are working on getting your mile time down (already running about a 7:30 mile). You are insanely competitive - with yourself and with others.  You are mostly a good sport, though, never lashing out at others, but sometimes beating yourself up over a loss far too much. I wish you would take it easier on yourself, but easier said than done, and do as I say not as I do and all that.  You finally got your braces off, and are just so handsome. You remain your sister's best friend and your brother's hero. 

I love you so much, Coop.  You make me so proud and happy and I continue to feel lucky every day that I get to be your Mom.  

Happy Birthday, my sweet boy.  May this next year be amazing.

To the Birthday Girl

 My dearest, Daphne,

Happy birthday, my love.  I hope that, despite the year that we have had, you look back and remember the year you went from 8 to 9 years old as one filled with lots of love. 

You continue to be such a badass.  You have resumed your rock climbing, in a socially distant and mask-wearing environment, and despite my initial pause at leaving you to scale great heights with a group of twenty somethings in charge of your safety, it remains one of the best things for you.  I love nothing more than walking you into the climbing gym and having one of the coaches see you and say "Daphne - what's up" while holding out a fist for fist bump.  While they check you in, they will tell me how you are "killing it" and then describe some insane climb you did during the last session.  I, of course, love it, and love even more that you overhear every word they say and stand a little taller.  Thank you to those young people for inspiring and motivating in a super chill way that speaks to your inner competitive spirit without overwhelming or frustrating you.  I have seen you try to get up a specific path multiple weeks in a row - still not quite able to make a certain jump - and have only seen you smile with each missed attempt.  You don't see it as a failure - you see it as a try where you got a little bit closer.  I have literally seen a couple stop and just watch you scale the wall.  You remain this fairly compact little human with some pretty impressive upper body strength and agility.  As ever, I am proud to be your mama.

You are oh so very smart - basically reading at grade level... in Spanish (like a native speaking 9 year old would read) while reading way above in English.  I LOVE that you constantly have a book open in your room, placed face down to save the page you are on. School seems to come fairly easy, so much so that it almost seems like you don't stress about it much at all.  Until, of course, you get a clunker grade on something (as is bound to happen at some point), when you will come home and then meet me at the door after I get home from work, and not even let me remove my shoes before telling me about the grade like some kind of guilty confession.  Your eyes are huge and while I can see you set your jaw, determined not to cry, I am made oh so aware that you are having to work at this pretty hard, because you HATE feeling like you didn't excel at something.  This will be my challenge (or one of them) with you - teaching you to not beat yourself up - teaching you to not expect perfection, even while always striving to be your best.  Perhaps I am not the best to teach this lesson as I am only now (at almost FORTY) learning to let things go (and I still struggle with it), but because of that, I will work extra hard to try to model grace (with others, and with oneself).

We invested in some bunk beds for your room.  If any single person in this house deserved an investment in the space where they sleep, it was most certainly you.  You LOVE to lay in bed until 10 and would probably happily lounge much later if we didn't force you to join us so we at least get some time with you during daylight hours.  You love to play games, and are really quite a good sport, win or lose, but you are definitely competitive.  You have become a bit more flexible in your diet - basically agreeing at the outset of this crazy time of COVID to at least try whatever we made for dinner, and you have done so and actually eaten more variety with a better attitude then I ever would have expected at this time last year.  Thank you for that.  

You continue to just be... sweet.  A lot of other things too (fearless, brilliant, hilarious, loving, powerful, sly, loud, snuggly, stubborn, beautiful, generous, to name a few), but just... sweet.  You give hugs and say nice things.  You have a good attitude about most everything, and life is just better with you in it.  

I am sorry we couldn't get the bounce house (yet).  I am hopeful the weather will allow it at some point soon and we can do so safely.  You deserve it.

You, my dear, deserve the world.

Happiest of Birthdays, my love.

Love, Mama

Summer Wrap Up

For the sake of posterity, before I can write about all sorts of exciting things that have happened this fall (and upcoming birthdays), I must document that we once again had an amazing summer and managed to do ALL OF THE THINGS (all together, socially distancing from others, and with the children only leaving our property line to go to an empty parking lot).  

Despite 2020 being a total dumpster fire of a year, despite cancelling trips and plans and missing people so much, the kids repeatedly heralded this as the BUST SUMMER EVER, which makes me feel like despite the ever present feeling of being on the verge of a total breakdown, we must have been doing something right.

We.....

1) Made our own Dinotrux on June 20, and I must say, I think they came out quite adorable:

2) We had a family water fight on June 6, and the children were RUTHLESS :)

3) We had a Star Wars weekend  May 24-25, with various combinations of family members making up a Star Wars movie watch party (I believe our couch still has indentations from Cooper and Steve's butts)

4) We ordered and then applied some very cool temporary hair dye on May 25.

5) We made costumes for a Star Wars battle and then the good guys and bad guys clashed on August 10:

6) We had a family football game that had to be called a bit short because Cal was TOO TIRED and TOO HOT and TOO THIRSTY, but was nonetheless, so incredibly fun.  We then had a pool football game on June 18-19, which was just as fun, but way less HOT.

7) We grilled 5 times, including kabobs on June 8, hotdogs on June 16, August 8 and July 1, and steaks on July 8.  And we also used the grill for S'MORES!

8) We wrote and illustrated a children's book on August 18, which I am sure will have publishers knocking down our door.

9) All kids had a slumber party on July 6 - in honor of someone's being FOUR.

10) We watched my favorite movie musical from childhood (Bye Bye Birdie) on May 30 (the kids did not seem to get how GREAT it is); we watched Indiana Jones Raiders of the Lost Ark on June 20 (did not stand up to the test of time IMO); we watched Feel the Beat (Netflix original) on July 9 (so good!), thus checking 3 new movies off our watch list.

11) We did family art for 3 hours, which included some very impressive papier mache on July 26.

12) We made homemade icecream MAY times, but the first time was on June 28.

13) We watched Mickey Mouse on June 1.

14) We had a family basketball game on May 30 (which was really more of a tournament, because it was actually many games).

15) We made homemade pizza on July 12.

16) We played 50 (times infinity) card games.  Seriously - Pitch, Uno, Enders Rummy on REPEAT (not complaining - this is my love language).

17) We created a scavenger hunt on July 4, and then on July 6 sir Calvin got to hunt out his gifts on July 6.

18) We sent cards to family members on August 2.

19) We made homemade pasta (LOTS OF IT) on June 28.

20)  We sent treats to Grandpa Cox on May 28, Corban on July 4, and to ourselves on July 9 (and possibly ordered more goodies throughout the summer, as needed).

21) We made homemade slishies on June 11 (technically we got a cheap sno cone maker off amazon with all sorts of syrups and indulged MANY times).

22) We had a family spa day on August 16 (where Steve and I get to employ some of our best accents):

23)  We got Emerald (Velociraptor) Kowalski on June 21, and we got Hazel (Foot licker) Kowalski on June 23

24)  We made egg people on May 30:

Cal focused on Star Wars characters

Cooper stayed with the theme and made Yoda:

And Daphne honored our public servants with a police officer egg:

25)  In what was unexpectedly one of my favorite events of the summer, we had a firsbee throwing contest on June 21 (order of finishers:  Steve, Cooper, Daphne, Whitney and Cal)

26)  We finished the massive Star Wars lego set on June 2.

27)  And we finished Daphne's massive boat lego set on June 20:

28)  We made a(nother) EPIC birthday cake on July 5:

29)  The kids' favorite day, no doubt, was DEVICE DAY on July 18:

30) aaaaand, believe it or not, we managed to knock out even more than 1,000 burpees over the course of the summer:s