To the Birthday Girl

 My dearest, Daphne,

Happy birthday, my love.  I hope that, despite the year that we have had, you look back and remember the year you went from 8 to 9 years old as one filled with lots of love. 

You continue to be such a badass.  You have resumed your rock climbing, in a socially distant and mask-wearing environment, and despite my initial pause at leaving you to scale great heights with a group of twenty somethings in charge of your safety, it remains one of the best things for you.  I love nothing more than walking you into the climbing gym and having one of the coaches see you and say "Daphne - what's up" while holding out a fist for fist bump.  While they check you in, they will tell me how you are "killing it" and then describe some insane climb you did during the last session.  I, of course, love it, and love even more that you overhear every word they say and stand a little taller.  Thank you to those young people for inspiring and motivating in a super chill way that speaks to your inner competitive spirit without overwhelming or frustrating you.  I have seen you try to get up a specific path multiple weeks in a row - still not quite able to make a certain jump - and have only seen you smile with each missed attempt.  You don't see it as a failure - you see it as a try where you got a little bit closer.  I have literally seen a couple stop and just watch you scale the wall.  You remain this fairly compact little human with some pretty impressive upper body strength and agility.  As ever, I am proud to be your mama.

You are oh so very smart - basically reading at grade level... in Spanish (like a native speaking 9 year old would read) while reading way above in English.  I LOVE that you constantly have a book open in your room, placed face down to save the page you are on. School seems to come fairly easy, so much so that it almost seems like you don't stress about it much at all.  Until, of course, you get a clunker grade on something (as is bound to happen at some point), when you will come home and then meet me at the door after I get home from work, and not even let me remove my shoes before telling me about the grade like some kind of guilty confession.  Your eyes are huge and while I can see you set your jaw, determined not to cry, I am made oh so aware that you are having to work at this pretty hard, because you HATE feeling like you didn't excel at something.  This will be my challenge (or one of them) with you - teaching you to not beat yourself up - teaching you to not expect perfection, even while always striving to be your best.  Perhaps I am not the best to teach this lesson as I am only now (at almost FORTY) learning to let things go (and I still struggle with it), but because of that, I will work extra hard to try to model grace (with others, and with oneself).

We invested in some bunk beds for your room.  If any single person in this house deserved an investment in the space where they sleep, it was most certainly you.  You LOVE to lay in bed until 10 and would probably happily lounge much later if we didn't force you to join us so we at least get some time with you during daylight hours.  You love to play games, and are really quite a good sport, win or lose, but you are definitely competitive.  You have become a bit more flexible in your diet - basically agreeing at the outset of this crazy time of COVID to at least try whatever we made for dinner, and you have done so and actually eaten more variety with a better attitude then I ever would have expected at this time last year.  Thank you for that.  

You continue to just be... sweet.  A lot of other things too (fearless, brilliant, hilarious, loving, powerful, sly, loud, snuggly, stubborn, beautiful, generous, to name a few), but just... sweet.  You give hugs and say nice things.  You have a good attitude about most everything, and life is just better with you in it.  

I am sorry we couldn't get the bounce house (yet).  I am hopeful the weather will allow it at some point soon and we can do so safely.  You deserve it.

You, my dear, deserve the world.

Happiest of Birthdays, my love.

Love, Mama

Summer Wrap Up

For the sake of posterity, before I can write about all sorts of exciting things that have happened this fall (and upcoming birthdays), I must document that we once again had an amazing summer and managed to do ALL OF THE THINGS (all together, socially distancing from others, and with the children only leaving our property line to go to an empty parking lot).  

Despite 2020 being a total dumpster fire of a year, despite cancelling trips and plans and missing people so much, the kids repeatedly heralded this as the BUST SUMMER EVER, which makes me feel like despite the ever present feeling of being on the verge of a total breakdown, we must have been doing something right.

We.....

1) Made our own Dinotrux on June 20, and I must say, I think they came out quite adorable:

2) We had a family water fight on June 6, and the children were RUTHLESS :)

3) We had a Star Wars weekend  May 24-25, with various combinations of family members making up a Star Wars movie watch party (I believe our couch still has indentations from Cooper and Steve's butts)

4) We ordered and then applied some very cool temporary hair dye on May 25.

5) We made costumes for a Star Wars battle and then the good guys and bad guys clashed on August 10:

6) We had a family football game that had to be called a bit short because Cal was TOO TIRED and TOO HOT and TOO THIRSTY, but was nonetheless, so incredibly fun.  We then had a pool football game on June 18-19, which was just as fun, but way less HOT.

7) We grilled 5 times, including kabobs on June 8, hotdogs on June 16, August 8 and July 1, and steaks on July 8.  And we also used the grill for S'MORES!

8) We wrote and illustrated a children's book on August 18, which I am sure will have publishers knocking down our door.

9) All kids had a slumber party on July 6 - in honor of someone's being FOUR.

10) We watched my favorite movie musical from childhood (Bye Bye Birdie) on May 30 (the kids did not seem to get how GREAT it is); we watched Indiana Jones Raiders of the Lost Ark on June 20 (did not stand up to the test of time IMO); we watched Feel the Beat (Netflix original) on July 9 (so good!), thus checking 3 new movies off our watch list.

11) We did family art for 3 hours, which included some very impressive papier mache on July 26.

12) We made homemade icecream MAY times, but the first time was on June 28.

13) We watched Mickey Mouse on June 1.

14) We had a family basketball game on May 30 (which was really more of a tournament, because it was actually many games).

15) We made homemade pizza on July 12.

16) We played 50 (times infinity) card games.  Seriously - Pitch, Uno, Enders Rummy on REPEAT (not complaining - this is my love language).

17) We created a scavenger hunt on July 4, and then on July 6 sir Calvin got to hunt out his gifts on July 6.

18) We sent cards to family members on August 2.

19) We made homemade pasta (LOTS OF IT) on June 28.

20)  We sent treats to Grandpa Cox on May 28, Corban on July 4, and to ourselves on July 9 (and possibly ordered more goodies throughout the summer, as needed).

21) We made homemade slishies on June 11 (technically we got a cheap sno cone maker off amazon with all sorts of syrups and indulged MANY times).

22) We had a family spa day on August 16 (where Steve and I get to employ some of our best accents):

23)  We got Emerald (Velociraptor) Kowalski on June 21, and we got Hazel (Foot licker) Kowalski on June 23

24)  We made egg people on May 30:

Cal focused on Star Wars characters

Cooper stayed with the theme and made Yoda:

And Daphne honored our public servants with a police officer egg:

25)  In what was unexpectedly one of my favorite events of the summer, we had a firsbee throwing contest on June 21 (order of finishers:  Steve, Cooper, Daphne, Whitney and Cal)

26)  We finished the massive Star Wars lego set on June 2.

27)  And we finished Daphne's massive boat lego set on June 20:

28)  We made a(nother) EPIC birthday cake on July 5:

29)  The kids' favorite day, no doubt, was DEVICE DAY on July 18:

30) aaaaand, believe it or not, we managed to knock out even more than 1,000 burpees over the course of the summer:s

Girl Time: Not Socially Distant

Happy Birthday to Cal!

We are still in your birthday month, and in the current state of the world, that seems like an accomplishment. 

Dear, sweet, adorable Cal - I wish you the happiest of birthdays in the craziest of times.  The funny thing is, you don't even realize how insane things are right now.  If anything, I am pretty sure you are convinced that the last 5 or so months have just been a pre- and post- party to celebrate you turning four years old.  You have all of us at home almost all the time, and that is truly your happy place. 

So, what are you like at the ripe old age of 4... Let me see if I can capture it in a few little snippets.  To try to capture your essence in mere words will be impossible, but I will do my best.

You think poo is HILARIOUS.  And I may be partly to  blame for that.  You said it best to your nanny when you explained "When I say poo my mom tickles me!" And yes, this true.  I do this thing - have done it with all three of you kiddos - where I get your attention, point to my eyes ("I"), cross my arms across my chest ("love") and then point all my fingers at you ("you!"), and I think that is how it started.  As I acted out my complete and total adoration for you, you narrated for me, but instead of saying "you" you said "poo!" and so clearly I had to tickle you. And so began what has become one of our longest running inside jokes.

You ADORE our new kittens.  Yes, we got two new kittens this summer, and you are quite smitten with them.  You absolutely adored Clementine, so I expected you to be at least a little pet savvy, but your love for them is slightly more aggressive than any of us predicted.  A few memorable exchanges:

You, aggressively patting the kittens.
Me: "Cal!  Don't hit the kittens"
You: "No, I was just hitting them gently."

You, picking up the kittens
The kittens meowing
Me:  "Cal, don't pick up the kittens"
You, picking up the kittens
Me; "Cal, I said don't pick up the kittens"
You, quickly semi-tossing, semi-placing the kitten on its kitten playscape
You: "I was just helping her climb onto her toy."

You are obsessed with Star Wars.  You want to talk Star Wars, play Star Wars (lego, or live action), draw Star Wars, and are often humming the Darth Vadar song to yourself.  I have heard it so many times, I have caught myself humming it when you are not around, as it has become the soundtrack of our house.

Cooper has been doing basketball lessons this summer (both online and private, outdoor, socially distanced) and you got your own outdoor hoop for your birthday.  Obviously, as you WORSHIP your big brother, you immediately told us that you, too, had basketball lessons, and put on your basketball clothes (a shirt and your striped pirate pants from the Disney Cruise), and went outside to have a very serious practice.  We were told we could only watch from inside.  And watch (and giggle) we did.  One morning you told me to come out and see your farm.  I gamely went out back and looked around, thinking how impressed I was with your dad at managing to get you guys outside during his few weeks of summer to do some planting without me even realizing it.  You seemed distracted by your basketball hoop, and kept telling me (with increasing impatience) to look at your farm.  I stood at the edge of the concrete and asked where it was while looking out into the grass.  You became increasingly frustrated, as I became increasingly confused.  I'm not sure when it clicked, but it finally did after you repeatedly told me how you had "good farm" and refused to stop "shooting" the basketball.  Yes, sweet boy, your FORM is really improving. 

You are a talented artist - just like your siblings.  You have turned one wall, our bookshelf and a window into a private art gallery.  You declare your drawings a masterpiece, and demand tape so you can properly display them.  You love to draw pictures for everyone in the family.  You and the big kids do crafts with your nanny, and I love nothing more than looking at the final products and being able to immediately tell who did which one.  Daphne's is always perfect and symmetrical, and you can tell she followed the directions precisely.  Cooper's is always done well, with a little individualistic flair.  And yours.... well, yours is always a little bit special.  There is your chicken doing the splits, where you wrote only the first 4 letters of your name on it before declaring it done.  there is the rainbow with all the clothespins anchored to one side, and the colored paper placed in a random pattern, very much not the traditional ROYGBIV.   I think this is both a product of your sweet little spirit and the fact that you have had not two, but FOUR+people constantly doting on you your whole life, literally celebrating every moment and cheering on everything you do.  You follow the beat of your own little drum, and do so with confidence and joy  in everything you do.

You don't need a pull up at night any more.  You sleep in a bed and now let yourself up and come downstairs when you wake up in the morning, no longer requiring us to come get you out of bed (but, MIRACULOUSLY, you don't get out of bed once tucked in at night until the sun comes up the next morning).  You had your first slumber party (with your siblings) on the night of your birthday, and you actually made it through the night sleeping on a mattress on the floor.  A part of me thought you wouldn't be able to sleep and I would end up snuggled up in your bed with you as a back up plan.  I was so proud of you, but also a little sad that you didn't need the backup.  You are getting so big.  You don't nap anymore - haven't really for a while - but sleep a solid 11-12 a night.  You have a good appetite, but Daphne's eating habits have rubbed off on you more than Cooper's, much to my chagrin. 

You give amazing hugs, are constantly ready to play, laugh with complete abandon, and are my only child to really seem to share my love for Sesame Street.  You still favor your mama, but not as much as you used to.  If anything you favor your siblings most of all, which truly makes me happier than you can appreciate.  Your pants (and shirt) are on backwards more often then not, and you hate getting in trouble more than anything in the world.   You will wait until the last possible second before going potty, literally squirming in discomfort while claiming you do NOT need to go potty, before shouting at us in desperation to "freeze" as you make a mad dash, for fear of missing even a minute of fun as you finally answer nature's call.  You are fairly independent, despite having a cadre of servants (family members) who wait on you hand and foot.  You are all of our baby, despite being well into big boy territory, and we could not love you more.

Happy birthday, sweet boy, may this fifth year be the best yet.

End of Year Traditions

I have all the time in the world and nowhere to go and yet won't even entertain writing about the state of affairs. Perhaps I should record for posterity how my children rallied together to make a tribe of best friends amongst themselves to make a global pandemic something they will likely remember as a weird year where their bonds were strengthened and we had unexpected fun playing more games than we ever imagined instead of the stressful, terrible reality it is.  Their perspective has kept me from wallowing and even though I can grasp the terribleness of this reality, and because of that, I will have some memories of this time that will be good. 

The school year ended with the kids not receiving 4th quarter grades, despite their deserving to be recognized for their relentless, almost entirely self-directed work.  Both exceeded all expectations and I have awarded them 100s across the board, and put all of them on the honor roll. 

Having been home for months already, I wondered if the transition to summer would still feel special, but I wasnt willing to give up traditions without a fight, so I took the first day of summer off and we made our annual "To Do List":

We are only a couple weeks in and have already made some headway, and despite this perhaps (HOPEFULLY?) being one of the worst summers I will see in my lifetime, I am happy to say the kids have declared thIs may be our best summer yet. 

I am thankful for their youth and optimism. They aren't living ignorant of the macro picture. We are talking about it all on an age appropriate level. But they believe the world will get better and their optimism allows me to sometimes believe it, too. 

Girl Time: In The Time of Coronavirus

Social distancing together. 

Happy Birthday, Cooper!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, COOPER!

Well, this one took me 11 years and 24 hours (and some extra) to process.  I mean, if I have truly processed it.  I am not sure I have.  But here we are - another birthday post.

You, Cooper, are 11.  

You now come up past my shoulders, and the days when you are eye level, and then (gulp) that I have to look up to see those still gorgeously long eye lashes are rapidly approaching.

You stay up as late as me (or later), and I am torn between loving your company (especially when I can give you my undivided attention) and wondering if you ever heard a moment of silence that you did not think needed to be filled.  

Sometimes, my sweet child, mama just needs a minute.  

You know how to send gifs, and in the first weekend you had your phone, I think I received 20 in fairly rapid succession.  Fortunately, or not, you then learned to play Madden on your phone, which quickly became more exciting than exchanging texts with your mom.  (It stung a bit when it took you a solid week to respond to one of my texts).

You can rattle off sports stats and they are actually (usually) accurate.  You will sit and watch an entire college basketball game with me, and not get bored or distracted, but actually want to talk about strength of schedule and who will be the last 4 in to the big dance.  I absolutely LOVE having some true shared interests.  Don't get me wrong, I loved that you loved Transformers and Pokemon, and I enjoyed playing with you, and I definitely do have a soft spot for Cars and Thomas, but those interests would not have been part of my life if you were not around - that was me getting joy out of meeting you where you were at.  College basketball - that is something where you are meeting me where I am at, and that is so amazing!

You have rediscovered your love of playing basketball as well, and have managed to inspire a joy of the game in both your sister and little brother.  Watching you and "Rocket" play basketball on the pop-a-shot in the game room is truly one of my great joys.  

Speaking of Cal, oh my goodness how much does that child love you.  There is a level of hero worship that I did not even know was possible.  And what is so beautiful about it, what truly makes me fill with a pride and happiness beyond anything I ever expected as a mom, is that it is so deserved.  You are so generous and gentle and engaged with him.  I can see how SEEN he feels and how LOVED he feels.  As his big brother, you seeing him and loving him will provide him a safety net in life beyond anything I can ever do.  Thank you for that.

And you aren't just an amazing brother to your brother, but you do the same for your sister.  Sure, it is a little different with Daphne - you guys are closer in age and she is old enough now that she doesn't revere you in that almost superhero way that Cal does.  But she sees you as a true friend, a partner.  She cares what you think, and your kindness, inclusiveness and encouragement set an example for her, and provide support for her self-confidence - something so important for a young girl.  Thank you for that. 

We had all sorts of presents for you this year - more than enough as you are spoiled by everyone (extended family, included), and are in need of nothing.  But, nonetheless, Daphne desperately wanted to give you her own gift - from her.  She gathered a few treasures from her room, and added it to a cash gift (so you could pick what you wanted most) pulled from her own piggy bank, and presented it with such genuine pride.  I would wonder where she learned to be so selfless and generous, but it isn't hard to guess.  When we went on our Disney cruise you insisted on making a sneak trip back to the gift shop to buy a present for your sister (and me!) because you saw a necklace you just knew she would love, and you didn't care if you had to spend your own money - you were going to get it for her.  How amazing is that?  From an (at the time) almost 11 year old boy for his 8 year old sister?  

Your grades are amazing.  You have learned sign language to communicate more easily with your best friend.  You are the type of person that became best friends with a child who is hearing impaired because you take people as they are and get to know them for who they are, and this kid IS awesome, but there are a lot of kids who let differences keep them from knowing the greatness of other people.  You are not that kid, and that makes me so proud.

You will be going to middle school next year.  It will be exciting and scary and I don't even know what else.  But I do know that you are ready for it.  You have matured this past year, and you will be great.  I have so many wishes for you, but none are specific, and they all center around the same thing - I wish for your happiness.  I love you so much, and you deserve nothing less.

Happy birthday, my sweet child.  

I love you!

Happy Birthday, Daphne

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY SWEETEST GIRL!

Ok, so two months late might be hard for me to explain... but in my defense, there was a Disney cruise, a shortened amount of time before Christmas, we had company and then there was the start of a whole new year that got in the way.  Plus, in my head, I had actually written this BEFORE we went on the cruise, and it wasn't until I sat straight up in bed in the middle of the night a few weeks ago when I had the realization that I had not, in fact, done that, but had only thought I had done that in my head.

Yes, m'dear.  You are stuck with me as your mama.  My apologies in advance.

But you do know that I love you more than anything, and you are, without a doubt, my absolute favorite daughter, so hopefully that counts for something.

So, anyway.  Back to you, my eight year old dear.  I think this year has been one of the most surprising years for me to watch you grow.  You went from a child that liked the comfort of your bubble to someone who asked to be signed up for a rock climbing camp near the end of the summer, which you went to all by yourself, which turned in to you now being a straight up rock climbing fool.  I made the mistake of staying to watch one of your classes and about died watching you climb what had to be 100 feet in the air, without a moment of self-doubt before pushing off from the wall, and trusting in your partner to safely lower you to the ground.  You are just SO COOL.  You walk into the gym and everyone says hi to you - 20 something year old guys first bump you and talk about what a natural climber you are. 

As I have said many times - I hope I am as cool as you are when you grow up.

You continue to just amaze me with your intelligence - you are a kind of crazy scary smart.  You continue to receive 1/2 of your education in Spanish and manage better grades than anyone else in your class, despite having zero bilingual support at home.  You devoured approximately 5 different books over Christmas break, and my heart nearly exploded each time I would walk into your room and catch you with a book in hand.  It is truly my hope that you carry this love with you for the rest of your life, because books can go with you everywhere and get you through much, and can serve as a common language for us if ever we lose fluency in each other. 

The benefit of writing this letter to you a bit later is that I can include recent events - like ear piercing!  You hadn't really asked to get your ears pierced more than once every year or so in an off hand way until the past 6 months, when the request became more frequent and unrelenting.  So, when you brought home yet another all "As" report card, it was fun to offer ear piercing as a reward.  I am positive that I was more nervous than you were (though we were both quite nervous!), but I faked it and you set your jaw, and before I knew it one ear was done, and you were prepared to see the other one through.  And a few minutes later both ears were adorned with a perfect blue crystal - your first earrings.  You are so proud of them and I am so proud of you, though this is just one more milestone taking you further into a tween.  But, let's not get too far ahead of ourselves yet...

I love when you get up on school days and crawl into my bed to sit in front of me while I fix your ponytail, and then you just lean back and we snuggle.

I love that we totally share a taste in music (Alexa, shuffle songs by Taylor Swift)

I love how excited you are to share earrings, and cannot wait until your feet grow and I can double my shoe wardrobe.

I love how patient and kind you are with your little brother (and big brother, sometimes).

I love how much you love to play games - may this always be the case.  You are a better sport than most kids twice your age.

I love how tedious you are about lovie placement on your bed (it is insane, but I respect your commitment).

I love how it is just another day in our life, but you will make it special by stopping to give me a compliment that is so sincere and out of nowhere that it makes not only my day, but my week (or year... or life).

I love how you have both a perfect Spanish accent, and the most hokey southern accent.

You are our middle child, our only daughter, our NeeNee and our Honeybunch. 

You are 8 years (and 2 months) in the making, and already a total masterpiece of awesomeness.  Happy birthday my sweet girl.  I love you forever.

Love, your mama

Girl Time: 2020