2016! Yearly Wrap Up

Wowza – in what is becoming a tradition, I am feeling less than my best self as we ring in the new year. Seriously, I think this marks the 4th year in a row where I have been sick on new year’s day (or got sick very shortly thereafter). Generally speaking, January through early to mid-March our house turns in to a giant breeding grounds for all things viral.

Where last year was an outlier and seemed to be jam-packed with stability and continuity, that is, just generally speaking, so not our style, so this year we reverted to our old ways and welcomed a new child and opted for unemployment. Truth be told, 2017 and years to come are much more likely to be full of stability and continuity (we are, after all adults), which is perhaps why it felt good (no, GREAT) to get in one last hurrah of oh-what-the-hell-lets-just-throw-caution-to-the-wind-and-do-this-thing in 2016, and we did many things.

As a recap:

January: Ah yes, now with nearly 6 months of being no longer pregnant, you would think I would look back at January and my second trimester of pregnancy with fondness, blurring the bad parts, and only remembering the good parts. You would think… but no. I look back of the picture of me pregnant and think “GAH! I am so glad I am no longer pregnant.” Don’t get me wrong, if time and money were no object, we might have a whole herd or gaggle of children in this house (if it were up to me), but even if money and time were no object, the future ones would be adopted. I have ingested enough Zofran and Diclegis to last me a lifetime. Though, as we know, in July, it was all worth it. Anyways – January was spent being larger than life in a (overachieving) growing body, cozying up with my littles, and thinking July sounded like a really long way away.

February: February was a month for the boys. We found out we were expecting a “he” in July with the big kids opening the envelope and doing the big reveal for me and Steve. While I thought waiting to find out (again) would have been fun, it was so cool to have the big kids announce that they were getting a baby brother, and really let us get amped up for the new little man. Then, of course, in February we celebrated our big brother as he turned 7, and did so in style, with crab legs and lobster tail – a testament to how spoiled rotten and loved he is – and also, perhaps, his powers of persuasion.

March: March was a busy month – we actually broke in the minivan with a road trip to Florida – stopping in Louisiana for some local cuisine (oh the beignets!). And if we sound insane for signing up for 9 hours in the car, you can just presume it runs in the family, because we were lucky enough to have Aunt Krishia the Great opt to join us! While not a cure-all, I highly recommend Florida beaches to treat morning sickness. We also celebrated Easter and attended school functions, where a pregnant mommy got down, folk-dance style, with Coop in the gymnasium (I am all too aware that the time is coming when Cooper will not think I am cool, so I am eating up these types of things – baby weight and nausea be damed- until then).

April: While I know there was plenty in April (like weekly injections, continued morning sickness, decreased mobility… hmmm, perhaps that is why I didn’t write much), at least I documented my first, of what I hope will be annual, day of corruption with Cooper. We ditched the school field trip and had the best mother-son day. It was so much fun, and we will have to find a way to do it again this year… we just have a certain someone (short, fuzzy haired, wears diapers) who likes to party crash and can be a bit of a drag as third wheel – what with all the required napping.

May: May included my mother-daughter day with Daph, and ditto to all the above. I am not sure how I will find a babysitter for Cal for 2 different school days between now and June so we can pull it off again, but, it is definitely on my to-do list. We made (and ate) cheesecake, painted my huge (GINORMOUS) belly, and continued the countdown to the end of school and our summer baby.

June: School ended with class parties and graduations, and summer began with an epic to-do list. We had visits from both sets of grandparents, treated Dad to some homemade breakfast in bed (and the girls to some pedicures). This month seemed to fly by (in STARK contrast to the months prior) and before I knew it, June was over, and it was…

July: !!! Obviously, the big news of July was the arrival of Cal. It was all very scheduled and civilized, with a proper (is IHOP proper?) last meal before fasting in preparation of surgery. Even though we had done this before (twice) it was as exciting as the first time, and meeting the little guy was just as amazing. He was born perfect (obviously, a completely unbiased opinion), and has only improved since. The bigs were such a part of it all, and continue to adore the little guy, but we had so much fun sneaking away for some time sans Cal and exploring a hiking trail, checking off another one of our to-do list items.

August: August was a month for family – extended and immediate. We had visitors from Sundown, Arlington and Chicago, and everyone enjoyed the new baby snuggles and the company. In a moment of clarity (or insanity) the kids and I hit the road and went to Mamaw and Grandpa’s house for some end of summer fun, and Cal stared sharing smiles with us, leaving me in puddles on the floor. We finished checking the items off of our to-do list just in time for the bigs to start back at school, and so began my time as a (temporary, to become semi-not-temporary-but-still-short-term) stay at home mom with a baby and two school-aged kids – truly the best combination of motherhood, I think. I was able to nap mid-day and guiltfree and had happy children coming home in the afternoon to tell me all about their days. Perfection.

September: September saw some semblance of a routine emerge for Cal (though, in retrospect, we were still far from anything predictable – I think I would have a few days of something and think “aha! This is the routine” and then write about what that routine was, and as soon as I hit publish Cal would be like “PSYCH!”) The love the Bigs felt for Cal continued to grow, and he became more aware of them as well. Mr. Chuckles moved in, bringing belly laughs and squeals, and we are happy he appears to have taken up a permanent residence. We continued to try to find a fix for his reflux, so it is really quite amazing that Cal’s demeanor was anything short of miserable, but he is a trooper and has a happiness that cannot be contained. We marveled at Cal’s blue eyes, took him with us to get cupcakes and ditched him to go to a trampoline park. We continued to figure out life with 3 as a family of 5, and while we probably bumbled along a bit, we enjoyed every minute. And of course, the original babies Kowalski continued to be their amazing selves.

October: By October I was back at work full time – trying to make it work and wondering how (not how I could handle the work load, but how I could handle the logistics). We had great help from Grandparents Cox. We finally got Cal on some meds that better handled his reflux, and he continued to grow, emerging from newborn into full on adorable baby. The big kids continued to rock school and outdo each other in their adoration of their baby brother. Despite a momentary waiver, I decided to go through with it and leave my job, realizing that it wasn’t a good fit long term, and in the short term, I would be best served tending to my family and focusing on finding a really good long term fit. I think the weeks between giving my notice and when I actually left (saying nothing of the weeks leading up to when I gave my notice) were some of the most stressful of my life. While I know it was the right decision, I am not a quitter, and that’s what resigning from my position felt like at that time (and while, arguably, resigning is a synonym for quitting, I see a difference in the two, which would take me hours of typing to expand upon, so I will leave it at that. However, the preceding sentence is evidence, I still have… feelings about it all). We had our first Halloween with coordinating costumes, and though we fully expect this to never happy again, it was awesome.

November: And in November, Ms. Daphne turned five. Gulp. Sigh. Yes, five. She had her first “big” birthday party at a gymnastics place, and though we were worried about the turn out (seriously, what is it with my generation and their inability to R.S.V.P.???) it ended up being the perfect size and attended by a great group of kids. She loved being the center of attention, and I loved not having to do the set up or clean up. We went to Arlington for Thanksgiving, and filled up Mamaw and Grandpa’s house with noise and luggage, while they greeted us with games, food and booze – it’s a wonder we ever left!

December: As expected, December was mainly about Christmas, with visits from both sets of Grandparents and spoiling all around. Cal continue/d to get bigger, fully filling out 6 month old clothes well in advance, and Cooper and Daphne continued to remind me why it is not only OK that Cal continues to grow up, but it is, in fact, pretty darn awesome.

2016 had its ups and downs, but you can’t look back on a year that brought us Cal as anything other than amazing. We are about to enter 2017 with continued uncertainty (we know I will, at some point, go back to work, but when? Where?), but the family part of this story finally has a full cast.

Happy new year!

Christmas!!!!

Holy Moly! Is it possible that Christmas already came and went and we are mere days away from 2017? Well, judging by the shape our house is in, I would have to say “yes”… I don’t know who will be cleaning up the aftermath of hurricane Christmas while I am at work… oh wait…

Well, as my Cowboys are on Monday Night Football, and if I don’t just crank this out in the brief moment when I don’t have a child glued to my hip I may not wrap up Christmas before ringing in the new year, I shall try to make this brief!

Back to Thanksgiving (oh wait! It appears I never wrote about Thanksgiving! It was in Arlington, it was super fun, and the kids rocked the roadtrip like nobody’s business) – when we were at Mamaw and Grandpa Cox’s house we were treated to a family photo session, and while I wish I looked a little less… lots of things, I think it turned out pretty darn cute, thanks to some good looking kids (and husband!), though Cal does look a wee bit possessed.



Never one to waste coordinating outfits, we repurposed all but Daphne’s looks when we went to visit Santa:



The weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas flew by, and before we knew it, Mamaw and Grandpa Cox rolled in to have a little “pre- Christmas Christmas”. I love this picture, because it pretty much captures Calvin’s feelings about Grandpa Cox – he thinks he is HILARIOUS.



They basically goof together non-stop.



The kids were spoiled rotten with gifts of Shopkins (or, as Daph says “SHOTKINS!!!”) and Pokemon (among other things) for indoors:



And swings and a basketball hoop for outdoors:



We have spent many of our waking hours in a backyard ever since. And while 70-80 degree weather in December is not exactly screaming Christmas (and it is BRUTAL if you are attempting to run off that remaining baby (and bad eating habits) weight), it is exceptional for spending time together outside burning off energy and Christmas candy in a 2 week break from school.





As soon as Mamaw and Grandpa Cox took off, we got a new set of visitors from Chicago: Grandma and Grandpa Kowalski! It had been so long since we last saw them (Cal was less than a month old when they were here last), but the kids, including Cal, picked right up where they left off.



It is really incredible – Cal’s interaction with them since August has been limited to FaceTime or Skype due to distance, and yet we handed him off like a hot potato pretty much as soon as his grandparents walked in, and there were no tears, only smiles. We had so much fun enjoying their company, whether out at a movie, at the arcade, or just chilling at home.



Christmas Eve was kicked off with the traditional Christmas Eve Gift:



Then we put the littlest bear to bed, and courtesy of grandparents taking one for the team, ditched him at home with them while we continued to the next tradition – looking at Christmas lights while drinking hot chocolate.





Santa was, once again, good to these kiddos.








Cooper was more excited this year than he has ever been before. When he got up to use the facilities at 11:45 or so on Christmas Eve he was disappointed (though only half awake) to learn that it was, in fact, “too early to wake up”. So when he got the “a-ok” at about 6:30 on Christmas morning, he could hardly wait.



Everyone was happy.





Perhaps a highlight this year was taking the kids to Target and splitting up so they could shop for the other members of the family. Daphne was perhaps more excited about Cooper opening up the Pokemon cards she picked out for him than she was to open all the gifts waiting for her. I managed to capture the post-Pokemon card opening hug, and it is quite adorable:



Aaaaand… after that, there is little rhyme or reason to explain why I remembered every great once in a while to pick up the camera and take a picture or why I went long spells not doing so, but I will chalk it up to having too much fun. I did manage to get a picture of Cooper’s mind being blown when he opened Fortress Maximus. Something Santa wasn’t springing for this year. Fortunately for him, when Santa won’t, he has a backup in Grandma and Grandpa Kowalski. Seriously, my kids are spoiled (though we wouldn’t want it any other way).



Cal was late to the party, so we were well into opening presents by the time he got up. We opted to finish up with everyone else, feed the baby, and then let the big kids have a frenzy opening up his presents with/for him after that. By “big kids” I mean big KID, because Cooper was too obsessed with the new Pokemon game for the Wii U, so we had, by that point, lost him for the next 4 hours.





Cal got some wheels for Christmas, and was pretty darn proud of his ride.



And pretty darn impressed with his driving skills.



This truly was the best Christmas yet. I don’t know how it happens, but it just keeps getting better.

Girl Time: It's Been Too Long

Whew! Man - I try to do these with you once every 6 weeks or so, but without a fancy iPhone with a legit camera and memory space for apps that allow easy transfer from photos to blogger it is easier said then done. Thus, LONG TIME NO SEE, chicadee!

I took some pictures of us together on my personal (crappy) phone and emailed said pictures to myself about a week ago. I have yet to receive them...

But I found the camera cord tonight, so I was FINALLY able to transfer some pictures onto the computer for posting.

For, my sweet love, while I am not such a fan of pictures of myself (especially in the clothes I went running in, with the hair that needs washing and the face that needs, at a minimum, a wash and many layers of make up), I already look back at these little selfies of us together from months and years past and know that I will FOREVER cherish this work in progress photo book of us together through the years.

Cal: 5 Months

It has been 5 months with Cal on this side of my belly button. It is hard to believe it has been that long – I mean, that means it has been 5 months since I slept through the night (more, if you count the months pre-baby when all the glamorous pregnancy symptoms kept me up all night).

And yet… I am torn between longing for more than 4 solid hours of sleep and dreading, with a heart breaking intensity, waking up to realize that I have slept for more than 4 hours.

I was asked at a baby shower this weekend if I miss work at all. My answer, unequivocally, was “no”.

Without even thinking.
Without needing to think.

That’s not to say that I have no plans to return to the workforce, I do. And there were (and will be) definitely things about working that were (and will be) satisfying, and that, if I were saying goodbye to that life FOREVER, I would feel nostalgic and maybe even sad about.

I might “miss” the adult interaction, the feeling accomplished, the wearing high heels, the grabbing some starbucks (and having a discretionary income that permitted the purchase of such starbucks), the sense of completion, the making of friends and having moments completely to myself. And, yes, there are parts of being home, caring for a baby (plus two other kids), that are trying and exhausting. But I am oh so aware of how much I will miss this, so it leaves no room for me to want to be anywhere else.

And I know, unequivocally, when that day comes where I return to the workforce, if asked, I will tell them, “yes”, I miss staying home.

Anyway, I digress.

So- in this last month... where do we begin.

1. Sleep! We decided once you turned four months old that we would begin sleep training you. But, then, as your father said, the Governor called and granted you a reprieve (in other words, I caved and decided to postpone such transition into older babydom). But, alas, we finally reached a breaking point and when we returned from Thanksgiving travels, we took the following weekend, and your training began. And you have done SO GREAT! Seriously – night one you didn’t even CRY. You kind of grumbled and rolled around for 40 minutes, but you put yourself to sleep like a seasoned veteran. Your Dad and I were like… WTF?!? You woke up and ate, and protested for about 5 minutes when you were placed back in your crib, but that was basically it, and the night went smoothly.

And the next day – same thing at nap 1.

Just before the high-fiving began, you brought the hurt at nap 2. And when I say “brought the hurt” I mean your crying, in even small amounts, breaks my heart, but, in actuality, was still not that bad all things considered.

And here we are, less than a week later, and you totally have the hang of putting yourself to sleep! YAY YOU!!!

2. Mad skills! You can effortlessly roll over (from your back to your stomach). And you do! Often! And then you still promptly remember that you have no idea how to roll from stomach to back… It would, ok IS, frustrating, but for the few moments of extreme self-satisfaction you experience when you first make it on to your tummy. For those brief moments, I will 100% flip you back over again and again and again.

3. Eating! You are all about baby foods now. You love apples, bananas, peaches, pears and sweet ;potatoes. As for vegetables… meh. You may eat them, but you will show a severe displeasure that what we put in your mouth was not some amazing mashed up sweet tasting fruit, and most likely spit out 2 of every 3 bites. We have incorporated you into our meal time, such that when you grub at night, it is pulled up to the table as part of our whole family dinner. Cooper and Daphne will argue over seating arrangements because they both want to be able to watch you and talk to you.

4. Sounds! You have expanded your “vocabulary” quite a bit… Along with many varied coos and squacks, you now blow strawberries.

5. Hair! Oh so very poofy (or, as your brother would say “woofy”).

6. Travel! Believe it or not, you are my ONLY baby to like to be worn, and you have taken to the Baby Bjorn like I never expected. This wasn’t the case when you were a baby, but now that you are old enough and have the head/neck control to face outward, you are ALL ABOUT being worn. Which, thank goodness, because you are not really in to spending much time on the floor or entertaining yourself. We have created a monster, and you like to be carried everywhere, and held almost all the time. So, when I need a moment with free hands, I can wear you and you will kick your legs wildly and laugh uncontrollably every time we pass by a mirror. I am convinced that you think you are independently moving through space and are quite pleased with your newfound ability to float.

You still have no teeth. You have no problem filling out 6 month old clothing, and are heading to 9 month clothing soon, I think. You love when we sing songs to you, including “Pa Pa Patch” and “Itsy Bitsy Spider”. You love your maracas and shake them with fervor when stuck in your carseat (which you still hate). But though you don’t like the carseat part of going places, you are the happiest baby in the world when we get where we are going and you are out and about. You are like a politician and have a smile for everyone. I am constantly told what a happy (and adorable) baby you are, and all I can do is agree. You are and you totally are. Your adoration of your siblings is only topped by their adoration for you.

I will never look back on these months with you are anything other than a total gift. You are a complete love and the goofiest little monster in the world. Here is to heading into the rest of the holiday season with you.

*This was actually done yesterday, but your Dad was using the computer, and I went to bed rather than wait for my turn.... I am sorry, but your 5am wakeup yesterday led to a pretty tiring day.

**The good news is, I found our old camera and the battery for it and everything, and have some GREAT pictures of you again (damn that iPhone 6S I had to return when I quit my job)... the bad news is, I cannot find the cord that connects the camera to our computer so I can transfer the photos.... I have faith I will eventually be able to do this, and will update this post with some pics when I do!

Happy Fifth Birthday, Daphne!

Happy Birthday, sweet sweet girl. You are so incredibly loved, and we are so lucky to have you.

This year you and I became outnumbered (unless you count the cat, which we won't), as the ratio shifted to more boys than girls in the house. I am not sure what it would have been like if Cal had been a little girl - it would have been equally wonderful, of course, but I can't help thinking that it would have been different, and the tiny shift in this house that happened when we brought him home, the little awareness that you and I are the only girls to rock the girl power in this house, wouldn't have happened, and that extra little dynamic in our relationship would have never existed.

True, a different one would have formed, one where we, as the big girls in the family, were responsible for showing a little girl baby the ropes.

But, instead, since Cal was a boy, it is just you and I, holding down the femininity fort. And I think we are doing it quite well, m'lady.



Thus, you are my partner in crime, my little sidekick, my buddy, my helper.

My only daughter.

That's not to say that Cooper and Cal are not also each individually special to me, although neither is an "only" son, nor is it to say that the only things that makes you uniquely special to me is your "only" status... but you are, and you are just... and I just...

There are no words. I just love you more than you will ever know and I am so happy to have you.

This year you started Kindergarten at your school/day care, and today I had a parent teacher conference to hear about your progress. Needless to say, I was not surprised to hear that you are achieving every kinder benchmark, and a complete delight in class. Despite being too young for public kinder this year, your writing is on par with your brother's, and your maturity is well beyond that of a four, or dare I say, five year old. According to your teacher, you have opened up a lot in class, and are well respected by your peers. When you speak up, the other kids listen, and you have incredible composure.

There is really nothing more fun than listening to someone else tell you how wonderful your child is. Thank you for being so awesome.



One thing I so admire about you, even at this young age, is your ability to rise above it all. You will tell me about how B, your good friend who you adore, was a... dare I say "B" to you at school (though you don't use such words, I just think them). I feel myself get agitated at B's rudeness and cruelty when she tells you that she won't be your friend or invite you to her birthday party because... some ridiculous reason, like you didn't want to play the same center as her that day. I start thinking about how to coach you through it, and what the "right" thing to say is, the "right" thing to teach you is (as opposed to what would be most satisfying when I am feeling wounded on your behalf), but when we start talking about it, it becomes instantly apparent that I am more bothered by these antics than you are, and you seem to already know that B will change her mind tomorrow, and you don't really care, because you aren't going to change who you are (or what station you want to play at) to please B, or anybody else.

ROCK ON, SISTER!

This attribute, this staying true to oneself and not doubting or caving or capitulating... these are the payoff for having an, at times, "strong willed" child. And I will take that trade off ANY day.


You are your (big) brother's best friend and know exactly how to drive him crazy. I hope I never forget the way you say "Coop" when you are talking to him or asking him to "come upstairs and play." Coop suddenly has at least 2 syllables and a cadence that makes me smile when I think about it.

You are your (little) brother's champion, always proclaiming him the best at everything and assuring him how much you love him in words, drawings and hugs.



You are like your mom in that you are a home-body. You had to write a sentence with the word "to" in it today for your homework. You wrote "I like to stay home." It made me smile, because it is so true - you are never happier than when you are in some comfy (sometimes wacky) clothes of your choosing hanging at the house with everyone else home with you.

I would say that I feel nostalgic and sad to think about how fast you are growing up, and sure, there is an element of that, I guess, as that is just an integral part of parenthood, I think. But the honest truth is, as I have said in the past, you don't seem your age. At a minimum you already seem 5. To mourn the passing from 4 to 5 feels... belated at best? You didn't give me time to mourn the passing from toddler to little girl, or little girl to ... less little girl, because it happened so fast, and I was and am already enjoying who you were and now are in the moment too much to look back for too long. I wouldn't trade you in or hold you back to keep you in a prior stage, because you have shown how ready you are for whatever is coming next, and you have shown ME how awesome each and every next thing is as I just come along for the ride.

Happy birthday, sweet daughter of mine. May this year be the best one yet.

Halloween

Oh the irony that the one year that I am not working during a school party they actually hold it at the end of the school day, thus making it semi-convenient to attend for the working parent. But, as a pseudo stay at home mom, the timing didn't matter as much, and Cal and I were going to go no matter what. And we did. And it was...



AWESOME! So fun to see Coop with all his classmates and feel completely relaxed and just able to enjoy the moment.

It was also HOT... seriously - this year Houston has completely skipped fall. When we moved to the outside portion of the party we waived at Coop as he ran to the bouncehouse and headed to the shade where we (Cal) could drool in peace.

On the big night, the kids were ready to go. While I wrestled with mommy guilt when considering making Cal's costume, the month of October was a special sort of hell for me on the stress front, so I actually made my peace with just buying some costumes, and figured that the fact that all three kids would be coordinating would make up for my failure.



Cal was WAY better than expected and we managed to meet up with friends and hit up their block all together before splintering off so Steve could rock the baby to bed while I went back out with the bigs (last year Daph called it quits early and I stayed in with Daph while Steve did the extra bit of trick or treating, thus we switched duties this year).



I seriously doubt we will be able to find a theme agreeable to all 3 kids in the future, so it was super fun that they indulged me this year.



It was a happy Halloween and truly kicked off what is sure to be an awesome holiday season!