Big Boy in the Swimming Pool

Early Departure

We decided to come back a day early. We had toyed with the idea when we realized that our perfectly planned drive back might just blow up in our faces like the planned drive down there did, and we might need a little extra time to recover once we got home.

Then, Coop made up our minds for us. He did NOT go to sleep until LATE (especially for him) on Sunday night (courtesy of some noisy neighbors and a loaded diaper) and then woke up especially early Monday morning... like 5:30am early. I grabbed him an tried to get him to snuggle back to bed with us, but now way jose, Coop was READY FOR ACTION. At this point we both knew we would be too tired to drive in at night, and we may as well get off the island before the rush of other people leaving, so we packed our stuff and got out of dodge.

Coop actually did nap off and on until San Antonio where we stopped for lunch and a stretch-your-legs loitering in Kohls. Then we chugged right along and got back home.

Coop was a real trooper. I know how active he is so I know what patience it took for him to sit that long in his seat. It will be nice to be back in our own beds in our house and have the traveling behind us for a bit, but it was really cool to be brave enough to take this first (hopefully of many) little family vacation.

It was memorable, and moments of it were awful (like when we went to eat at Blackbeard's and Cooper was so frigging WIRED that he had the whole place in stitches but Steve and I were mortified, or when we first got him out of the car in Padre and he was SO pitiful) and moments of it were amazing (Coop walking straight into the ocean- fearless and exhilarated, holding hands on the balcony, falling asleep listening to Cooper's snores in the same room, those pina coladas) but mostly it felt like a Griswald vacation... kind of a comedy of errors and yet awesome family amazingness at the same time. I am kind of proud of us that we did this. Coop won't remember it, but we have pictures, and while it didn't go quite as planned, what part of my life with Cooper has? That is why it is fun. That is why it is ours. And that is why I love it so much.

To Padre.

What happens when you plan a trip so meticulously that you set an alarm to wake yourself in the middle of the night so that the sweet little toddler can sleep during the entire car ride practically, and arrive at the beach refreshed and ready for action?????

I will tell you: Said toddler wakes up and immediately starts pushing his stuffies noses, waiting for a beep beep beep, and NEVER GOES BACK TO SLEEP. Said toddler then realizes that he is so friggin tired his eyes are going to fall out about 4 hours into the 6 hour drive.

Rather than belabor the story of the drive, I will just say that it was L.O.N.G. and when we got there, SURPRISE, our room wasn't ready. So we went to lunch... and came back... still nothing. Our room was vacant but not cleaned yet. Even after unloading the tired toddler and some bags and begging that we get moved to the top of the cleaning list, we were smacked in the face with some surly customer service (or lack there of) and Steve rocked Coop down for a nap in the lobby. Where he slept for about an hour. FINALLY when our room was ready, we loaded into the elevator. Me, laden with about 50 pounds of bags, and Steve laden with Coop. As the doors close and the circulation to my arms completely shuts off we hear a loud "DING"... which happens at every subsequent floor until we reach ours. Needless to say, COOPER WAS AWAKE!!!

So, why fight it? We took him down to the beach, and actually had a ball the rest of the day. Coop went into the ocean for the first time - walked all over the beach - helped his Daddy find seashells and dug his hand deep into the sand. He was a beautiful mess, and his happy face will forever be imprinted in my mind - whispy hair matted down by sunscreen, and eyes squinting in the summer sun.

And yes, Mama still got herself a pina colada, so it was a pretty great day.

Coopey's Going to Schlitterbahn...

Not really, but that was the running joke all weekend. We had to pass by one Schlitterbahn on the way to Padre, and then we stayed within 2 blocks of another.

Yes. We went to the beach.

When I planned this trip I had high hopes and big dreams... or something like that. I wanted to take Steve to the ocean and, while Mexico was out of the picture for the time being, Padre has a pretty nice beach. I envisioned Coop playing in the sand at the foot of our tent while we casually sipped pina coladas and read book after book after book.

Pure bliss.

There were one or two... moments? that went as planned, the rest was complete chaos - it went down in true Cox-Kowalski style.

Did we have a ball? Yes. Did Coop play in the sand and love the water? Yes.

So I guess that is all that really matters. But MAN, when both parents say that the way they would describe this trip is "Memorable"... it should tell you not everything went according to plan.

The Simple Life

I came home about half an hour early yesterday. We had plans - and things to accomplish BEFORE the plans, so when work hit a good stopping point, I booked it out of there.

You shared your snack with me. Well, tried to share. The smooshed slobbery dried apple you offered was pretend gobbled up by me, before I insisted "no, Cooper eat!" and then you happily complied.

It was a simple day. Errands - to the mall to return a dress I liked but realized I wouldn't actually wear because it was definitely too nice to not wear heels with, and I just don't get dressed up like that for work very often, then to get your Daddy new shoes since he worked a hole in the other ones and you made everyone stop and stare out you, beautiful boy, giggling in your game of touch everything and hide, then to Kinkos, then to a friend's house for dinner.

You were pleasant, you were friendly (until that darn "Farmer and the Dell" song played, then you were like "OH MY GOD, I NEED MY MOMMY!!!!"... what was that about?) and you ate Lo Mein for the first time ever. You seemed to really enjoy it. You would realize a noodle was stuck to the inside of your forearm and then contort to get it from there directly into your mouth, without the intervention of your other hand in between. You then proceeded to splash all of the dog's water from the water bowl onto the floor. I am still not sure if our friends really didn't mind, or think it was absolutely disgusting. I figure you will (and already have) put much worse things in your mouth (there is no way you haven't snagged one of the MILLIONS of roly polys), and some things I will have to tell you no, so why not let you do those things that I can say yes to???

You went to bed later then usual - all of 7:00pm, and that was it.

It is just so EASY now. We are hanging in the balance - we have left behind dependent and immobile and helpless (which, though those words sound negative and bad, I mean it as anything but, it was just HARDER)and have yet to cross over into tantrums and rebellion and out and out toddler warfare (which again, sounds bad, but I am looking forward to it, I just know it will be HARDER).

I think motherhood (and fatherhood, too, I am sure, just can't speak firsthand about that one) is so much harder then anyone admits. Worth it, yes, but friggin hardest thing I could have ever set out to do, so a day like yesterday, a day where everything was just so easy, nothing special happened, no big landmarks to write about, is still something I want to remember nonetheless.

Ball Game???

Coop invented his own little game of toss and catch today.

He tossed to some place within the three foot radius around his body, and then ran to catch / fetch the ball as it rolled away.

We really do play with him - when he will let us. But sometimes playing by himself is just more fun.

New Things

Now you like to lie on your tummy and bend your knees so your feet are kicked up in the air. Sometimes you even rest your little face in the palm of your hand.

I find this adorable.

You also imitate me when I strum my lip and make funny noises.

I also find this adorable.

We took you to Academy and Target this weekend, and for the first time ever, we didn't get a basket and throw you in the seat or lug you around all over the place. Instead I placed you on the floor, offered you my hand, and we walked around together. YOU FREAKED YOUR FREAK OUT! You went around and touched EVERYTHING with that one little pointer finger. You hid in the racks of clothes, tossing my hand aside to play a game of peek-a-boo. You laughed your little tush off.

You used to sit on my hip and just stay there. Content to be off the floor, content with the view from my height, and content with not having to move yourself around. Now, sometimes you feel that way, but sometimes holding on to you is like holding on to a slippery little fish. You WANT TO GET DOWN and you WANT TO GET DOWN NOW!!! Fortunately one of us is aware of things like gravity, the solid nature of the ground, the soft nature of your head.

I Get Knocked Down, But I Get Up Again...

Steve walked in to THIS today. AND the amazing thing was THIS kept on going, even when a certain little toddler heard the sound of the video camera.

Seriously, all it took was some outside walks. We have known he could walk for a long time. It finally occurred to us that MAYBE he didn't walk because he had no reason to. We spend all our time crawling around with him, and like everything, walking is harder than crawling when you are first learning how to do it. Once Coop had to walk to take part in the activity, he really started to get into it, and you could see the pride on his face and the confidence grow with each step.

Now, he is just a machine. A slightly wobbly machine, but a walking machine nonetheless.

Wait, Isn't Steve the Old One???

Know what sucks????

Throwing your lower back out. Like WAAAAAY out.

Know what sucks more???

Going to work and sitting at a computer with a thrown out back. Spasming.

More than that, you ask...

Coming home to a kiddo that JUST DOESN'T CARE and wants to be picked up NOW and being completely gobsmacked in love with that kiddo, and just reaching down and heaving up. (But that part was kind of wonderful, too).

EVEN MORE???

Being the single putter-to-bedder for the night that has to lean over the tub, then wrestle a naked Cooper into PJs and then lean over that DARN crib railing...

Then realizing that Teddy, sweet Teddy, snuggly of all that is good and holy in this world, is DOWNSTAIRS where your spouse left him and FORGOT TO TELL YOU.

But, what is amazing is having a baby that makes it worth it, and is willing to roll over and snuggle Monkey and Ele instead of Monkey and Teddy... just for this one night.

One Foot in Front of Another

At the request of Aunt Allison... VIDEO de COOPER!!!

I am glad I wrote about his pirate walk, because his step is already changing.

We are doing a massive house overhaul this weekend, hopefully finishing the baby proofing of the rest of the house, so we can UNLEASH THE BEAST.

He is turning into such a little boy. There is no doubt, he is a baby no more. We are full on in toddlerdom. With the moving and walking and climbing and talking (though still in some other language). There are decisions and opinions and PERSONALITY to boot.

The Way You Walk

We have decided to make our neighborhood stroll a nightly occasion, because it is already really affecting the awesomeness of your mobility. Yesterday you made it from our mailbox to our neighbor's mailbox AND BACK before you were distracted by the AWESOME combination of ants and leaves... and if you know where we live you know we have an acre between ourselves and our neighbors, so that was NO SMALL FEAT!

I just want to take a moment to capture forever the way you walk, because I know as time passes your strut will change. Right now, you pretty much take a normal step with your right foot, but then you swing your mainly straightened left foot out and around and then land on it with a bit of a thump. Kind of like a pirate with a stump for a leg. I kind of wish your steps would forever stay like this because it is possibly the cutest thing I have ever seen in my whole entire life. However, I am afraid the rest of the world may not be as forgiving (kids can be mean) and I am afraid that your pace would be restricted, and I want to see you run.

Right now, when you are walking between us I will shuffle my feet really fast while I go "run run run" and you look up at me, while you swing that left foot around, and you smile. Sometimes you even speed up your pace a little bit... step... thump, step ... thump, but you are still working on mastering the walking thing, so there is still time.

Thank God there is still time.

Old Man and a Little Baby

Today Steve turned THIRTY years old.

2x15
3x10
5x6
30xCoop (roughly)

LOOK AT ALL THOSE CANDLES... I worried about how I would manage to light them all before the first one burned out, then I realized that I had to bunch them so close together to make them fit, that lighting one pretty much chain reacted the rest!

Clearly, it was a happy occasion, and despite the workday nature of Thursdays we managed to celebrate with cake and spot of champagne (cake with Coop, champagne without).

Cooper managed to enjoy HIS big day quite a bit.

Happy Birthday to Daddy / Steve.

We love you very much. Enough to share that Dairy Queen cake with you even though it was stashed in the outside freezer and Coop and I could totally have polished that off on our own when you were not around

Let 'em Rip

What is funnier than ripping up construction paper?????

NOTHING! NOTHING! NOTHING!

Seriously, as you may be able to tell from the paper littered on the floor in the video, we had been doing this for a bit before it occurred to us to get a camera out, and it was STILL funny.

My One in a Million

A million people have written about the feeling of a tiny hand wrapped around a single finger. (Or some other large number, at least).

They have commented on the enormity of the feeling of hanging on to that one tiny life, or rather having it hang on to you, as you watch a child grow.

They have all said something beautiful and poignant and way too good for me to try to compete with.

But that is not why I won't try to tell you about what it was like to take Coop out in the street (the not busy street in front of our house) and have Steve and I on either side of him, each offering a single finger for him to cling to, and watching him take step after step as we walked all around the house.

I won't try, because there are no words.

Not mine, and not even the words of the other millions who tried.

Ketchup

Today ketchup and you became acquainted.

I have a feeling this will be one of those friendships that will last a life time.

Happy Day to Me!!!!

This has been a hard year. My first full year as a Mom. What I was thinking when I thought it would be easier to have a baby in grad school than after only shows how STUPID grad students can be.

It was not easier…

but things that are worth it seem to never be.

This year has been filled with working hard, nursing in between sessions of the Bar, struggling with the economic realities that are my student loans and electric bills double what was budgeted, working opposite schedules, passing in the halls…

This year as an adult has been HARD. It has been tears and sleepless nights. It has been giving up, only to try again a moment later. It has been… well, HARD.

This year as a Mom… the most easiest (yes, still STUPID enough to write that) thing I have ever done, no matter how hard. How is it that motherhood works out that way?

Being a Mom means never sleeping in again, EVER (or at least for umpteen years). For, even if your spouse gets up to let you sleep in your mommy super hearing and mommy super instincts lead you to just GIVING up and coming downstairs anyways because if I am going to be up, then I want to be up with Coop.

Being a Mom means sharing that string cheese even though it is the only thing you have eaten all day, and you really could just swallow it whole.

Being a Mom means wanting to come home at the end of a long day to start the other part of my day.

Being a Mom means hurting when someone else falls, and being the bad guy when what someone else wants more than their next breath is not good for them.

Being a Mom means not buying (as many or as impractical) new shoes.

Being a Mom means always wondering how to juggle everything, how to be a spouse, a friend, an employee, a citizen, a colleague, an everything, AND a Mom.

And most importantly, a Mom.

And if you are really lucky, being a Mom means being Cooper’s Mom.

At least that is what being a Mom means to me.

Today is my day. I get a day. Yes, it is a day that I share with others, moms, mothers-in-law, best friends, but isn’t that what makes today SO MUCH COOLER???
Oh, and of course, like every day, today is my day… FEATURING COOP. Which seems fitting, because without him, I wouldn’t get today.

So, here’s to Coop. The boy who made me a mom.

And not just a “mom,” but a FUN mom. Coop, you have made me the FUN parent. Who would have thought??? Anyone who knows me can attest to the fact that I am SUPER type A. I am schedules, and routines, and order… with my shoeboxes stacked in my closet, with my list of clients post-it-noted to the side of my computer monitor, with my unshakable desire to make sure everything is JUST SO and PLANNED. (Seriously, Coop, remind me when you are older about how I almost didn’t go to Enchanted Rock this one weekend… When I get things planned in my head a certain way and then they don’t go that way… well, WHOA, that used to just CHANGE EVERYTHING!!!)

But with you, well, with you I am spontaneous and, if I do say so myself, HILARIOUS. We have made up our own little games in our own little world, and if you wake up before I leave for work in the morning you become my co-dependent co-pilot until I am forced to leave you (and you promptly forget about me I am sure, and I hope, because I want nothing more than your happiness. I want that more than my own). Don’t get me wrong. I am still that person, after all, I am the one that SET the schedule you so rigorously follow, and we are ALL the happier for it. But being with you (within that pre-created structure) I can totally let go. I can crawl under the slide, I can fill the pool and plop my pale chubby butt right down in the 5 inches of water to blow bubbles in the water just to hear the symphony of your giggle. I don’t even think, I do. You allow me to have moments when I don’t have to think, I just get to DO.

Do you know what that means to me Coop? Do you know what you have given me? You have given me peace and stillness in the crazy chaos that is my life with you. You have given me perspective and I can finally see sides of myself I either didn’t know I had, or had been hiding for so long, because so much of my life is about KEEPING IT ALL TOGETHER.

You, the biggest investment I have ever made. The most permanent thing in this world. The most daunting challenge in my life. You have given me PEACE. I should be terrified at the enormity of the responsibility of being your Mom, and I am. Sometimes. But I have been overwhelmed by the enormity of responsibility before. I know how to roll with that feeling. I think, I plan, I strategize, I act. And I will do this. I will do this all of your life because you deserve someone to contemplate the choices that are made that affect your life. But that was expected. What wasn’t expected was being able to turn that all off. Without even trying. And just breathing… or growling… or crawling… or giving you raspberries… this list goes on.

Thank you for making me the fun.

I rewrote that last sentence once, then realized that it was perfect the first time around.

To other people I am the boring, or the stickler, or the sensitive, or the hyper-organized, or the reality-checker, or the to-do list maker. To myself I am the rule-follower, I am the responsible, I am the bill-payer, I am the problem solver, I am the punctual, I am the scheduler.

But now I am something else: I am the Mom, and I am The Fun.

Coop, you made me The Fun.

Final Installation.

Seriously, I love this kiddo. So much.

So sweet.

AND SOME MORE!!!

Seriously, I am only posting about 10% of all the pictures from the other day - but they are just TOO good. Where we get about 1 usable picture for every 50 we flash (not for lack of looks on Coop's part, but lack of ability and equipment on our part) pretty much every picture was so friggin cute!

Nothin like a rocking a diaper and a pajama top at 2:00 on a Sunday afternoon to really drive home that his Mama is from the south.

And Some More....

Sorry, there are a lot of pictures, and I had to attempt to sleep last night (unsuccessful) thus, I am only finishing posting these pics today.

On another note - I both totally do NOT relate and COMPLETELY relate to women who talk about feeling guilty for working. The thing is, I like my job. I like supporting my family. I like going out and talking to people and using this education I am paying out the you-know-what for. I do not feel guilty for going to work. I am proud of it, and I think Cooper should grow up seeing me be proud of what I do, and being proud of me, and his own accomplishments as he grows up. BUT, that is totally not to say that some mornings when he cries when I hand him off, or when I leave before he gets up, or when I just plain miss him, it is hard to work a full day. When I do feel guilty is when I come home and feel like I am sucking at my mommy duties (which, let's face it, these are like the most fun duties EVER, so how could I suck at these you ask???) Not often, but sometimes, I am just TOO TIRED, and I come home and when I play, I am not quite at 100%. Cooper doesn't seem to notice, but I do, then I feel guilty, cause COME ON, this is hide and seek, how could I not be giving it 100%???

Anyways, today was one of those days. Over the last 2 nights I have gotten possibly 6 hours of sleep. Total. As in an average of 3 hours a night. NOT COOL!!! I used to be a total insomniac, and really struggled with sleep. I never totally solved this problem, but something about having a newborn made sleep something I no longer had to work at. Then, well, having a baby that has slept 12+ hours every night since, oh I don't know FOREVER, my body is like, HEY, LET'S PARTY ALL NIGHT AGAIN!!!

It stinks.

So today I came home, and I just knew I was off. I had been sluggish and slow ALL day, and I was just. SO. TIRED. For once, I didn't give into the guilt and slog my sorry self inside to half-ass play time. For once, I just gave myself permission to STOP and SLEEP. I texted Steve and asked him to take Coop for a walk so they would be out of the house when I got home (if I come home and Coop sees me, this whole plan would be out the door, cause I may be able to nap, but not nap when I know my baby is downstairs crying for his Mama to COME PLAY!!!!) I passed them on the way to the house, and I just parked, went upstairs, laid face down, and disappeared to dreams for a bit. It was a restless nap, with lots of fitful wakings, but it was a NAP. When I got up, I came downstairs to a VERY happy baby, who totally enjoyed a 100% Mommy for the rest of the day, and I realized, WHY DO I FEEL GUILTY???

Anyways... these are pics with a toy bag that Beka gave us. Not just for toting toys - ALSO a stylish cap!

Some More Adorable...

Photos Continued

Seriously, the quality of these photos kicks the butt out of the quality of our little used-to-think-it-was-decent camera's photos...

Anyone got an extra couple grand lying around??? Cause I suddenly understand why people invest in photography equipment.

What A Nice Lens You Have

I had a friend over today who, among many things, is an excellent photographer. Lucky for us, he had his camera with him and snapped a few shots of His Heighness.

Fortunately I was able to get the giant booger out in advance, unfortunately I didn't completely wipe his face clean...

Dear Cooper

Dear Cooper,

Crawling off of the bed will not land you face first in a pile of clouds.
Though the floor is carpeted, it is still SOLID and HARD.
Please stop trying. You shall not succeed and this is really getting ridiculous.

Love always,
Mom

Dear Cooper

Dear Cooper,

My stomach is not, in fact, your horsey. It may be squishy and bouncy when jumped upon, but it does not have those rubber bands to take the force of your giddy-up.

I am glad we cleared that up.

Love always,
Mom